gift guide ~ in which Chloë has fun talking about presents even though she doesn’t celebrate the holidays

Hello, my friends! Well, I’ve got a different kind of post for you today. Very different. See, I love reading gift guides. Probably because my love language is gifts and I like making lists of things to get for the people I know and the things I want for me. And I’ve always wanted to write a gift guide because there are so many cool things out there to give someone.

Now, the thing is that my family hasn’t celebrated Christmas since I was six years old, and it’s not a holiday I intend to celebrate again. (There’s many reason for that, but that’s not what today’s post is about.) Neither do we currently celebrate Hanukkah (though I do intend to try it at some point in the future, maybe even this year, but who knows when it will actually happen.)

All that being said, I’ve never written a gift guide before. I’ve thought about doing it in the middle of the year, but that just seemed odd. Most people use gift guides for the holidays. Anyway, after some thought, I decided that this year I’d write up a gift guide around the holiday season, just because I want to. So let’s jump into it (after this long, rambly intro.)

(Oh, one last thing. I’m afraid that most of these items are a bit more on the girly side, so my apologies to any guys reading this and to anyone who is searching for a present for a guy.)

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grateful ~ a poem

life isn’t perfect

life can be so hard

but 

there are little things

things to be grateful for

simple joys

i love the colors of autumn

i love the smell of fresh baked cookies

i love my heritage (czech, german, apache) 

i am grateful for my acting skills

i am grateful for dogs

i am grateful for dreams

i am thankful for cosplay

i am thankful for stories and superheroes

i am thankful for music

sometimes I hate every bit of my body,

but sometimes I love my smile and my hair and my eyes.

i am thankful for childhood memories,

i am grateful for random videos that make me laugh,

i am grateful for my hedgehog,

i love candles

and blankets

and warm fuzzy socks.

i am grateful for chocolate and caramel,

i am grateful for dancing,

i’m thankful for the possibilities in the future.

i’m thankful for cats

and elephants

and rabbits

and the list could go on and on, so I’m grateful for animals, even snakes and frogs.

i’m grateful that pain makes me stronger (even though I hate the pain).

i love medieval fairs and comic cons,

i love movies and I Love Lucy,

i’m thankful for snail mail,

i’m thankful for warmth,

i’m thankful for whipped cream and pie.

i’m thankful to have job (as stressful as it can be),

i’m thankful to be on this earth.

i’m thankful to have the words of this poem in my mind. 

thanks be to God from whom all blessings flow,

and happy thanksgiving to all that I know.

(happy Thanksgiving, friends!)

despair ~ a poem

darkness

fears 

shivers

tears

sadness 

loneliness 

longing

wanting to belong

looking back at what you had, 

wondering why it disappeared,

worrying the pain will never go away.

wondering what you did,

wondering what went wrong,

wondering why people never stick with you.

watching people pass, 

watching people laugh,

while you’re stuck in a bubble,

stuck in a sphere,

stuck in a prison you don’t know how to escape. 

crying out to God, 

praying for His help,

knowing it will come in His time,

but still wondering why,

why won’t it come,

why won’t it come when you want it so much? 

did you do something wrong?

or did you just draw the short stick in life

and this is your lot to bear until one day

you just can’t keep going? 

and so you just keep watching

watching people pass

watching people laugh

watching people hug their friends,

watching people greet each other.

you keep sitting alone,

you keep feeling alone,

you keep feeling the pain that never stops.

and your mind keeps screaming while your heart keeps beating

and sometimes you wish both would stop,

you want peace and quiet, 

you want to be held,

you want to be someone else.

dejected, you sit,

you sit in despair,

all alone,

in the dark,

with your fears,

shivers

tears

sadness 

loneliness 

longing

wanting to belong

and wondering, wondering, wondering,

 just how long you have to wait

until you no longer feel

that awful, 

horrendous,

mind numbing, 

tear-inducing,

fear-inducing,

pain-inducing

despair.

(it’s a hard knock life, my friends. but I’m okay. 🙂 hope you’re doing well.)

life lately ~ October 2021

Well, hello, friends! It’s been a bit. I’ve been swamped with school, work, and life. And this month is, of course, NaNoWriMo, so I’m pretty sure all you’ll see of me during November will be this monthly re-cap and the next part of the Know Your Novel link up. Maybe, just maybe, also some weekly NaNo recaps, but who knows?

Anyway, let’s get right into this post.

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life lessons and random thoughts

  1. whoever invented music is owed a great debt, because I can honestly say that music saves lives.
  2. to my barista trainer, thank you for being an angel in my life. I don’t know much about you, save for the fact that you’re patient while teaching me, but something you said to me has really lifted a weight off of my heart.
  3. the pain does pass. one night you can feel like the hurt in your heart will never feel, but months later you can look back and think “it gets better”.
  4. it gets better, but it also gets worse. and that’s okay. your pain only makes you stronger.
  5. coffee.
  6. if you don’t feel loved, love harder. it probably won’t make a difference as to how you feel. but it will make a difference to how others feel.
  7. big dreams are worth having.
  8. when a stranger believes in you more than you believe in yourself, you should definitely reevaluate.
  9. self love doesn’t have to mean loving every single part of yourself. it can just mean that you’re learning to be gentle with yourself.
  10. when you’re embarrassed or sad, just ask yourself if it’s really going to matter to you in ten years. (hint: the answer is usually no.)
  11. adventures are good for the soul. have more of them.
  12. and an adventure doesn’t have to be sky-diving. it can be trying a new flavor of ice-cream. or releasing a hornet outside of your local starbucks because you didn’t want the baristas to kill it.
  13. laughter is nice.
  14. it’s okay not to be productive.
  15. and it’s okay not to have a perfect body. or a perfect life. or a perfect smile.
  16. no one is perfect.
  17. a good long scream to the skies is a very good way to destress. but if you’re too timid to scream to the skies, a frustrated whisper will do.
  18. get excited about small things, even if you can’t get excited about big ones.
  19. “why is all the rum gone?” but substitute “my energy” for the rum, and you have life’s biggest question.
  20. hakuna matata.
  21. if you’re lonely, go pet a doggo. doesn’t have to be your doggo. just go to the pet store. if you wait long enough, you will find a doggo to pet.
  22. if you’re sad, go find a doggo to pet.
  23. doggos solve everything. appreciate the doggos.

know the novel link-up 2021: part one ~ introduction

Hello, my friends! My, am I excited for this post. After a lot of pondering and scrambling, I’ve finally decided to do NaNoWriMo this year, for I think… the sixth or seventh year?

The past couple of years have been rough writing-wise, but I think I’m starting to take baby-steps back towards rekindling my passion of writing. I’m saving up to re-join a writing workshop I loved when I was younger, and I’m watching all kinds of writing videos (something I haven’t been able to do for a long time). And of course, I’m also doing NaNoWriMo. I’m not sure if I’ll stick with the YWP or go for the full 50k this year (for the first time ever), but I’m excited to see what happens.

I’ve seen this link-up around the blogoverse for a few years now, and I’m so excited to take part in in this year! It’s called Know The Novel and it’s hosted by Christine Smith. There’s a list of questions to answer each month for the months of October, November, and December.

Let’s get into it, shall we? 🙂

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my thoughts on dear Evan Hansen: the movie

Hello, friends!

Last night, I got the opportunity to watch the Dear Evan Hansen movie. It was absolutely phenomenal, and I feel very compelled to write a post about it. I have heard so many conflicted reviews on it. Some people love it, some people hate it, and so I wanted to share my thoughts on it.

(this post will contain spoilers, read at your own risk.)

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