Good evening, ladies and gentleman. It is I, Natasha Noël Flemming (I trust that you remember me. You’d better.) and I am here today because Chloë hasn’t posted in AGES and that’s atrocious. Then again, she’s evil, so maybe we don’t want her posting.
Natasha… that not nice. She not feeling vewy happy.
That’s Aren. She’s a sweetheart. She can’t hurt a fly. Unlike Chloë, who has no trouble MURDERING innocent characters. That’s right, MURDERING. So who cares if she’s not feeling very happy and doesn’t feel like posting? Not me.
Tasha… that weally not nice.
Again, Aren’s a sweetheart.
What’s that? You *don’t* remember me?
Well then, I guess this calls for introductions.
Tasha, no one said they didn’t remember you..
Introductions anyway. I’m Natasha Noël Flemming, as I did mention above, and I am a character of Chloë’s imagination, and an advocate for Character Rights. That’s right, us characters have rights, too. Just because we aren’t “real” doesn’t mean you get to hurt us left and right.
And in italic is Aren, the sweetest little angel ever, don’t argue with me. Also joining us is Tyson, who will adding his remarks in that bold font, and Jenna, (who is possibly saner than anyone here, am I right?) (yes) will be adding her remarks in both bold and italic, like this.
Now, the purpose of this post is to address all characters everywhere. And authors, too, I guess. Maybe I can make you authors see your foul and evil ways. -.-
Where are my notes, I’ve got them somewhere. AHA.
Tasha, why are you typing all this? Why are you typing what I’m saying?
Because I want to and I can. 😉 And DON’T CALL ME TASHA. Only Aren gets to do that. Now, let’s get down the business.
Friends, Romans, countrymen- what does that mean? Uh, it’s from someplace. I’ve heard it before. No one ever told me who or what said it. Well, anyway. Ahem. I am here today to convince you all to join me in getting rid of all of the evil authors (aka, all authors) in the world.
Are you gonna killlll them??
Noooo, that would make us as terrible as them. No, we’ll just dispose of them.
Down the garbage disposal?
They probably won’t fit down there. We’ll just… tie them to a tree. Steal their books. And their chocolate and coffee and tea and their essentials. It will be lovely. They’ll be devastated, which is what they deserve.
I’m sure all you characters out there have all been tortured in some way by your author/writer. Perhaps they’ve murdered your family (Chloë murdered all of our families, THANKS.) or chopped off one of your limbs (*looks over at Aren*) or burned/exploded your house, the list goes on and on.
And thus, we deserve REVENGE. Hehe.
What kind of revenge? Well, as I mentioned, we could tie them to a tree, steal their precious books and chocolate and guess what, we can eat the chocolate ourselves! We could also kidnap their stuffed animals. Or pets, that works too.
But then maybe the doggies and kitties and animalzies would be sad.
Okay, fine, not the pets. Only for the dog and cat’s sakes.
I’d also say we could burn their notebooks, but honestly, I’m not sure whether that would destroy us. Same with deleting their novels. (Does anyone know what happens when you do that??) (That’s a question for the characters, not the authors. Authors are LIARS.)
So please join me in storming at least our author’s house because I really really want to and she deserves it. Come join meeeee.
Wow. I’m terrible at writing speeches, aren’t I?
Not so terrible. They’re certainly… lively? That’s not quite the word… let’s go with interesting.
Why, thank you, Jenna.
I hear something.
You do? Is it Chloë?
I don’t know- yes it is, I’m gonna scram.
TYSON WAIT FOR ME!
Slow down, you don’t want to trip and fall.
I’m an adult, I don’t trip and- owwww.
Natasha, Aren, Tyson, and Jenna